Ambien. No doubt about it.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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