All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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