I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
