Farmville is her only friend.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
