Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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