Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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