oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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