Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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