I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
