i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
