Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
