she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
