I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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