no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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