The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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