She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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