i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
