he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
