I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
