I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
