He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
