I hate your face
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
