So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
