Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
