I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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