Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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