laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
