I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
