I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
