seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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