This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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