yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
