Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We talked him into tasing himself.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
