We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Randomize
