I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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