found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
