Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I understand Curling. That high.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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