He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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