dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
