its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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