Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
