My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
