yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
