Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
