even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
