How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
