Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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