I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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