D3 body, D1 cock
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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