You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
