so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
