Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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