you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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