Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
